


By His Side

by Trashy_Lolita



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Lance (Voltron), Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Keith trying his best, Langst, M/M, but it's more like Soft Klangst, klangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 04:04:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashy_Lolita/pseuds/Trashy_Lolita
Summary: Lance is going through a depressive episode, and Keith tries his best to help him through it.





	By His Side

**Author's Note:**

> I've been going through a deep depressive stage for the past several months, which has pretty much put a damper on my writing. Been kind of working on this on-and-off as a means of vent-writing, and I'm proud of it kinda????

Lance's depression manifested in many ways. Oftentimes, it would slip through one of the fake smiles he would give off. Sometimes it presented itself in nothing but his lack of appetite. But then there were times like today, where the depression would pin him down and consume him.

He laid in bed, staring at the flat texture of the ceiling.  It was difficult to describe how he felt besides nothingness. At this state, it was difficult to reach him, but through the haze, he could still try to respond. 

He could see his boyfriend from the corner of his eye sitting right beside him. He wanted to reach out to Keith, but despite how close he sat, Keith still felt so far away. It was as though a dense cloud was separating them, making them unable to reach one another, but Lance knew it was the depression trying to isolate him from everyone.

It was pretty unsettling how  _ aware and familiar _ he was with it by now.

He was aware of it; he knew it was there and that it was responsible for most of Lance’s current struggles, but there wasn't much he could do about it. Finding the will to fight it took so much more effort than it was worth; the depression was curbed whenever he had an important mission or when he was dragged to training, so it wasn't as though it was a complete and total hinderance in his life. 

Keith scooted closer on the bed, and Lance moved to make space for him to lie down. Like this, Lance could actually feel Keith’s closeness even more, the dense cloud distancing them no longer there.

Keith ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair, and Lance leaned into it, laying his forehead on Keith’s chest. They stayed like that for a while; Lance wasn't sure how long exactly.

“Keith?” he blurted.

“Hmm?”

Lance wasn't sure why he called to Keith, until he found himself rambling, “am I useless?”

“No,” Keith said, pulling Lance in closer, “No you're not.”

Lance had to wonder how tired Keith had to be to answer the same question with the same answer dozens of times. He really didn't want to burden Keith, but he couldn't help it, and now Keith was here with him instead of training or strategizing with Allura and Shiro. Lance couldn't see how he contributed to his relationship at all for Keith to set time aside for him.

But this was Keith he was talking about, and Keith wasn't the type of person who would set time aside for just anyone. Keith cared for him and loved him, that much Lance knew as a fact, but that didn't stop him from dreading the day Keith would see how much of a disappointment he really was.

Another constantly repeated question rolled out of his tongue before he knew it, “why do you love me?”

“Because...you're you.”

“But…” Lance said, “I'm…”

“You're what?”

_ Nothing. I'm nothing. A failure. A disappointment. And one day you'll see you deserve better than me.  _

“Never mind,” Lance muttered, trying to push those thoughts away, “it's just…it’s nothing.”

He couldn't toss these thoughts onto Keith; dealing with them was his own problem, not Keith’s.

“I'll be fine,” Lance reassured him, digging his nose onto Keith’s chest, “you know this just comes and goes.”

“How are you feeling?” Keith asked, “Can you get out of bed?”

“Mn…” Lance said, “I don't know.”

“We can stay here for a bit.”

“Babe, you don't have to be here with me.”

“I want to.”

Lance knew by now that when Keith made up his mind about something, it was impossible to change it, so there was no use arguing. Especially when Keith was drawing circles with his fingertip on Lance’s lower back in a way he knew Lance loved. The attention on his head and lower back had Lance instinctively pull Keith closer.

“I think I finally found a nickname for you.”

Lance peaked out of Keith’s chest to look up at him, “hmm?”

“Kitten.”

Heat spread through Lance’s cheeks, “wh-what?”

“Kitten,” Keith repeated, “you act like one sometimes, like right now.”

“Oh my god,” Lance whined as he buried his reddening face into Keith’s chest. 

Keith drew his hand away from the back of Lance’s head to cup his cheek, “do you like it?”

“Hmph,” Lance pouted and dug deeper into Keith’s chest. 

Keith couldn't help but chuckle, “I love you, kitten.”

“Stooooop,” Lance whined, muffled through Keith’s shirt, “it's so embarrassing.”

“But I do love you, kitten.”

Lance would only respond with whining noises, and Keith, despite not seeing Lance’s face, could see how much he was reddening all over. He knew what he was doing was embarrassing Lance, but he also knew he was distracting Lance from his dark thoughts, so he was going to continue.

Plus, he would be lying if he said he didn't find this the least bit amusing.

“I'll definitely call you kitten from now on.”

“Baaaaaaaabe,” Lance said, “why are you doing this to meeeee?”

“Doing what?”

“Embarrassing meeeee.”

Keith shrugged, “I got you to stop moping, didn't I?”

Lance’s brows rose to his hairline and looked up at Keith’s innocent grin, but Lance could see the smug undertone to it.

“Hmph,” Lance collapsed back on his pillow, “I guess you did.”

Keith pulled Lance in closer, “I do mean it though.”

“What?”

“That I love you.”

Before Lance could respond, an intrusive thought cut him,  _ it’s only a matter of time before he sees you for the disappointment you really are.  _ He couldn't get a word out after that and instead sank deeper into the bed.

Keith noticed the change in Lance’s demeanor, but there was only so much he could do in this situation. He was never good with words, and they're the only tools that could help Lance right now. Instead, he placed a kiss on his forehead.

“Take a nap,” Keith said reassuringly, “I’ll be here when you wake up, okay?”

Lance nodded. Keith held him close as he dozed off, and it wasn't long until the soft snores began.

Normally, Keith would always hate the sound of another person’s snore. He had always valued the quiet and always thought that he was better off alone for the rest of his life. No sound of another constantly irritating him, no invasion of privacy, and more time to himself. He was a loner and was content with it. But then Lance just had to go and turn his world upside down. He couldn't complain; he loved Lance and would do anything for him. He loved everything about him. 

Which was why when Lance suffered on days like this, Keith was at his most helpless. He would do absolutely anything if it meant taking away Lance’s suffering. If Keith could take the very entity that was always suffocating his boyfriend and destroy it with his bare hands, he would, but it wasn't that easy. The best he could do was stay by Lance’s side, and he knew it simply wasn't enough. Lance always stressed that he would never expect Keith to magically heal him, but there was nothing more Keith wanted to do than exactly that. To Keith, Lance was the last person in the universe to ever deserve this kind of hurt. 

“I love you,” Keith whispered into Lance’s hair, low enough as to not wake him, “so much.”

He didn't know how Lance could manage to be so beautiful and talented, yet have such an askewed view of his self-worth. Perhaps this would sound exaggerating to anyone else, but Keith could honestly say that out of everything he had ever seen in the universe, Lance was by far the most ethereal being he had ever known.

He looked down at his sleeping boyfriend, and his worried thoughts drifted away. Lance was strong, more than he gave himself credit for. He was going to be okay. They were going to be okay. They were here, and that's all what mattered. 

Lance's snore was music to Keith’s ears, and contentment washed over him as he was gently lulled to sleep. 

When Keith woke, he was greeted by the sight of a smiling Lance, whose hands were placed on top of each other on Keith’s chest, his chin resting on top.

Once the memory before napping became clear, Keith let out a yawn and asked, “how are you feeling?”

“Better,” Lance said, his smile growing wider as Keith rested his hand behind Lance’s head.

“That's good,” Keith said, “Because you need to eat.”

“Hmph,” Lance pouted, “I wanna be lazy for a little while longer.”

“Nope,” Keith patted Lance’s side, “come on, kitten, you need to eat.”

“Oh my god,” Lance hid his face, similarly to before, “that really is your new nickname for me.”

“I wasn't bluffing,” Keith laughed, “come on, you need to get up before Hunk drags you to eat instead.”


End file.
